Why I am on xhamster

Why I am on xhamsterMy story:I thought I was a fairly normal heterosexual young man. I chased the ladies when and where I could. I always admired their beauty. I was always taught that homosexual activities was just plain wrong. I was taught that our sex organs were like plumbing. You can not hook a male end up to another male end, and the same with the female end. Believe me , I can't make this stuff up. My first journey into same sex activities was in junior high. I was in the boy scouts in Germany and a friend named Mark and I went camping one weekend in Germany. I was in the boy scouts at the time, so overnight camping trips was commonplace. We were in Germany for 4 years as my dad was in the military. We were both in our little tent, laying on our sleeping bags when Mark c suggested we play a game. It was basically playing doctor. Problem is he was more concerned with wounds in and around my crotch. I remember one of the wounds was a head wound. As his hand went towards my crotch again, I stated in a somewhat louder voice the wound was on my other head. He busted out laughing and that was pretty much the end of the game. My next journey was in high school with a friend named Ronnie. Again it was a camping trip. On a previous outing we somehow got on the subject of sex. And or masturbation I admitted that I did.get myself off a few times. The conversation progressed to mutual masturbation.. Hell I was 16 or 17 at the time. We ended up going into the tent and laid on top of our sleeping bags. Ronnie brought some toilet paper with him. We both stripped off our pants. I reached over and grabbed his cock. He was flaccid, and I thought it was like holding my own while taking a pee. Ronnie reached over and grabbed my cock and said you're bingöl escort already hard ( which I was ). The conversation turned to fucking. Now, I was with a couple girls by this time and knew what to do. I did not know what to do with guys. Ronnie said he wanted to show me and rolled onto his stomach. He coached me onto his back and reached around an grabbed my cock to line it up to his ass. I can not remember any thing about lubrication ,but we tried an failed. We switched positions and he tried to enter me. All attempts failed and we eventually quit and went to sleep. My last journey into man sex. Was in the Navy when I was stationed at Pearl Harbor. I was heading downtown Waikiki to just have a few drinks and relax. As I was walking from the bus stop downtown, I heard a guy say he liked my tattoo. Just some guy standing off to the side of the sidewalk. He struck up a conversation with me as I walked. He seemed a friendly type of person, and I let him continue with the conversation . He suggested we have a drink and we stepped into some bar, took a seat and ordered a couple of drinks. The conversation was about everything under the sun. One thing that struck me was every time he leaned in toward me a bit. With the back of his left hand, he tapped the inside of my leg as he was talking. A couple times, he actually made contact with my Dick. It was all just so natural in the way he was making contact with my inner thigh and head of my Dick. At least that was my thought, and I did't even get any thoughts of being tested, or whatever he was actually doing. Thinking back I can now see clearly what was going on. Long story short, we ended up back at his apartment enjoying a couple of beers. The more bingöl escort bayan drinks, the more relaxed I became and the more I enjoyed his touch. The more I enjoyed his manual manipulations, the harder I became. I became putty with his slow methodical manipulations. I knew it and he knew it. The more he touched me, the more I wanted him to touch me. After feeling my hard on, he finally asked if he could see my cock. In the span of about 2 to 3 hours, I had gone from some guy getting off the local bus to get a couple of drinks, to a pliable piece of clay. Of course I said yes. I watched as he unzipped my zipper, and undid my pants to expose my cock. As he held and lightly stroked my cock, he told me to stand up. In no time I found myself standing there nude from the waist down and his hand on my cock. Bert stood up and led me to his bedroom , and pushed me backwards to his bed. I was laying there on my back, my legs bent at the knees, feet on the floor, and a guy in between my open legs still holding my cock. I watched as he lowered his mouth and envelope my cock. At this, my mind was telling me there was a guy between my legs, then wondering where I lost control of the situation, and finally saying that it felt good. I'm not sure whether any of this was stated in my mind or aloud. All I could do at this point, was to watch him bob up and down on my cock. Bert was good at this. I do not know how long I was laying there, but this was lasting far longer than any other sexual situation I had up to this point. I was so hot, I recall actually pushing his head away and finishing up with my hand. I came harder than I had ever cum before. WOW !!! Holy shit!!! I came harder than I ever had. He gave escort bingöl me a towel to clean up with. As I lay there, I noticed he still had a hand on my cock and moved his mouth up to suck on my nipple. While this did feel good, it did nothing to get me going again. He finally told me to get dressed, and he would take me back to the base.As he was driving me back to the base late that night, I could only sit quietly in the passenger seat. I wanted to say that I enjoyed the evening. I wanted to tell him how I felt watching him. When we arrived at the parking area outside the gate, Bert asked if he could see my cock once again. I said sure, and watched as he unzipped me again, and pulled my cock out. I was pretty much still in a catatonic state and uncertain of what to say or do. I knew what just happened and the ramifications. Somewhere after I exited the car, I admitted to myself that I received the best blow job I have ever had. Yes I enjoyed it. All I could do was watch as he drove off. Years later, I'm left with a partial seed planted in my mind, in that I had received a very good blow job, enjoyed it, but did not reciprocate. I'm left with curiosity about what it feels like, tastes, and even smells like. I am left with wondering if I can give as well as I received. Wondering what it would be like to get him off also.. To this day, I do not consider myself homosexual. I am more attracted to women than men. women are soft to the touch, where men generally not. With that said, I spend more of my time on xhamster perusing MTF Transgender people. I love the beauty , plus I am still curious about the extra package. So what does this all mean. Am I conflicted? Yes. Am I bi / gay. I do not know. Where do I go from here, what's next? All I do know is the seed that Mark, Ronnie, and Bert planted all those years ago is still with me to this day. It's also the reason I am putting this all on paper. Maybe some other person has gone through a similar journey, and can shed some light on it for me. Thanks for taking the time to read this...